Freaking Out!

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Well, I went to the doctor on Tuesday expecting to hear that it was going to be at least a couple of weeks and to discuss when I would be induced (like I was with Brandon), but instead was told that I am 2 centimeters dilated and 50% effaced (which if you have had kids or have friends that discuss it obsessively (sorry about that) then you understand what that means).  Basically, the doc said she doesn’t think I will make it to my due date and to make sure I have my bags packed. 

Logically, I know that it will probably still be a couple of weeks and that my “progress” could actually regress before my next appointment, but unfortunately, rationality is not my friend right now.  During the day I feel fine, other than a few Braxton Hicks contractions, but at night every little twinge wakes me up and I lay there forever trying to figure out if it was a contraction and to see if it happens again. I think that some of my anxiety is driven by the fact that I have another child to worry about too.  With Brandon if I had gone into labor spontaneously, it was no big deal…I envisioned a frantic father putting his shirt on backwards, while I patiently waited by the door with my packed suitcase, fully made-up and with clean hair. Now, I lie awake trying to decide if I should risk it and try to wash my hair real fast, and should we wake up Brandon or see if someone could come over here and what did I do with the neighbor’s phone number and how I still don’t have any pajamas to wear so I’d have to go in my sweatpants that I wear every day and definitely aren’t clean…this could go on forever, but I think you get the picture.  So, by the next day, I’m so exhausted that I can’t get anything ready and the cycle repeats itself the next night.  I’ve managed to get Joe stressed out too, which takes a lot, since he is used to my craziness by now.  I tried to call him at lunch today and then later to see if he was coming home…not a big deal but I guess he just saw a lot of missed calls, so he called me freaking out because he thought I was in labor.  I apologized and promised to not call as much and that if I am in labor he can assume that I will be sending many texts and the phone calls will not stop after a couple of tries. 

Anyway, needless to say, I am a fan of induction and do not enjoy the “thrill” of waiting for baby to make her suprise entrance into this world.  I’m hoping that by writing all of this down, I can send it out into the universe for someone else to worry about and will give myself some relief. 

By the way, we still do not have a name for the baby and now the few possibilities I had suddenly don’t feel right, so I am actually getting further away froma  decision.  I am secretly hoping that when she comes out, she will have her name sketched on her bottom like a Cabbage Patch doll!

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One response »

  1. This is why I loved having a planned c-section. 😉 I didn’t pack my bags until the night before I think. I will tell you that I know someone who was 3 cm dilated for a couple of weeks and went until her due date. Hang in there! I was hoping to actually see you guys next week BEFORE the baby gets here.

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